44R jacket. Matching 34/32 slacks. Complimentary 17 dress shirt. Vibrant, yet professional, tie. I’m a time bomb? Okay, not exactly, but considering I put it together in under an hour at Value Village while retaining current-century fashion sensibilities is worthy of a little fist bump. Such was my Friday afternoon last. An unforeseen, panicked shopping […]
Know Thy Golden Handcuffs
Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” The man was centuries ahead of his time with that meme-worthy nugget. He was Facebook before Facebook was cool. Or invented. He was also full of shit. Truth is, knowing yourself is the beginning of depression. And self-loathing. Knowing myself has never so much as […]
I Quit!
A Crock of Schmidt is 3. The dreaded Terrible Twos are officially history, though any seasoned parent will assure you that the Threes are worse. My predominant impression of this anniversary, admittedly one that holds true for most milestones in my life these days, is an overwhelming sense of bewilderment that it is even possible. […]
Crude Awakening
“It builds character.” These words of encouragement, long-favoured by well-intentioned relatives and friends, cycled endlessly in my mind as I sat behind my faux-wood desk in my soon-to-be-former cubicle on the west side of the fourteenth floor of Gulf Canada Square in suddenly not-so-opportunity-filled Calgary. I was numb. A few minutes prior, my phone had […]
I Am Obsolete
There is a moment when the last lingering doubt withers away and you are finally forced to accept that you no longer have the skills to resume a former career. An instant when evidence cuffs you upside the head and reality sharpens to pinpoint focus. It is not a pleasant moment but it is surprisingly […]